Issue #8: The Friend You've Been Waiting For

This week, I took a course at work where I learned something that was probably obvious but hit me anyway, and hit me hard: We often forget to treat ourselves like we would treat a good friend. We’re so good at being gentle with someone else’s struggles. So good at showing up, listening, and encouraging others. We say, “It’s okay,” and mean it. But when it’s our turn? We turn cold and unforgiving.

We say things to ourselves we’d never say to someone we love. We call ourselves dramatic when we hurt and tell ourselves to get over it.

And still, a part of us keeps waiting. Waiting for someone else to come along and say the thing we’ve been aching to hear.

It’s strange, isn’t it? How we keep waiting for someone to say something kind to us and never think of saying them to ourselves.

When I heard these words during the course I attended this week, I thought about the number of times I really was unkind to myself. How harsh I have been and the mean words I have said to myself.

And the truth will always be that I can be the friend I’ve always been waiting for. YOU can be the friend YOU’VE always been waiting for. Being kind to yourself doesn’t mean you fix everything. It doesn’t mean you always get it right. It means you stop being unavailable when you need care the most.

You already know how to do this. You’ve done it for others. You just forgot that you’re allowed to do it for yourself, too.

So maybe today’s newsletter is not a poem about being stronger. Or happier. Maybe today’s just about being kind to the person who’s been with you through it all: YOU.

What would it look like if we spoke to ourselves the way we speak to people we love? What would change if we started talking to ourselves like people worth loving? And what might begin to heal if we did?